Friday, August 11, 2006

The weekend

Every weekend, since last few months, I am realizing that I hardly have any social life left. The hazards of the profession. You think you have it all worked out, your life is on track, but it is not. Yeah, you think you have good social and communication skills, but think about it, they are limited to the professional field, mostly. You can talk business, you can talk technical, you can talk in programming languages(speak the languages of the matrix, so to speak). You can handle vile, wormtongued colleagues, you can understand politics, choose to stay out of it, instantly recognizing the games being played. You can stab people with those brown, deep and gazing eyes. And be stabbed back. You are hated by some of your colleagues, and you and some other colleagues hate them back. You wait for a chance to make fun at their expense, and they return the favour, not in kind.

But can you talk freely with your own folks. Can you be with your friends. Can you love getting soaked, and ride the rains. Can you talk to the girl you love, without a hint of selfishness. Can you forgive her. Can you forget her, if you want to. Can you tell your feelings truly to the girl you like.

You can handle the excel-expert Project Managers breathing down your neck and constantly pushing the deadline (and pushing you), and the bosses who worked on COBOL and Assembly in their prime. Though, after a few job shifts, I have bosses here whom I can relate to and whom I can respect, but the atmosphere in a family owned business, is well... just that.

Some ways to beat the blues, they work for me (for a short while :-) though)

- Try not to work in a family business company. The atmosphere might be free, but you do feel the disorder and insecurity sometimes. The strength of the disorder may vary, its still there.

- Instead of limiting yourself to a few close friends, be friendly with as many people as possible, while having a few close friends.

- If you dont drink, start doing so. CAUTION - Keep it within limits. You will find lot of drunkard bewdas to give you company. The risk is that you may speak something hmmmm,,,, wrong, the inhibitions are broken. You have to watch your words when you hit the bars/pubs with your colleagues. But then, you cannot speak freely when you are supposed to be enjoying.
Also realize that while the drinks induce you into a state of temporary aloofness from the troubles of the world around you, it multiplies them when the walls start breaking down.

- Pursuing hobbies or interests is out of question. Strictly out of question. Instead pursue hobbies related to your own field of work, but then they dont remain hobbies anymore, do they?

- You earn enough, but dont spend. Heck, get a new VCD player, or a larger new monitor. Rent VCDs. Watch some amazing Hollywood scifi and fantasy movies. Or Hell, Tom and Jerry are always hilarious....CAUTION:- Dont, Dont, Dont get those Bollywood flicks. The high tension and those sick "make-believe real" world actually makes you feel bored, morose and missing.

If you have any more ideas, please leave them in the comment section, I will update this post.


Blogger Hiren said...

Well, I feel it is better to have a few close friends instead of too many ot them. What is said about family business is obviously true.

Hobbies are more a measure of a man than profession is. This among other things is covered in the second review after the first review- Kabhi alvida na kehna. Osho ka kya hai kehna

August 11, 2006 10:35 PM  
Blogger In The Shadows said...

Well Hiren, you do tend to get alone when you have few close friends. If they are busy/out of town/screwing around/anything else, you dont have anything else to do. I think its good to have more friends so that you can call anyone of them over for a few mugs of beer.

You are right about hobbies. Then my hobbies make me a dark and noisy person :)

August 14, 2006 6:45 AM  
Blogger Sharan Sharma said...

> If you dont drink, start doing so.

Disagree. Alocohol gets you into a vicious loop. Does nothing to solve the problem. Just helps you escape. Not a 'solution'.

> Pursuing hobbies is out of the question
Why so, please?

Yes, everyone has their bad days but nowadays i just feel that people say they are feeling low it means they are actually just bored.

So i usually start by asking myself whether what i am going through is boredom, fatigue or laziness - symptoms of which we often club as saying we feel low.

Depending on what finally the real reason is, one's got to attack it.
Often just the one question: "Don't i have anything new to learn today?" will work.

Now let me stop - i am feeling bored writing this :) and am sounding so goddam preachy

August 17, 2006 3:08 PM  
Blogger In The Shadows said...

Also realize that while the drinks induce you into a state of temporary aloofness from the troubles of the world around you, it multiplies them when the walls start breaking down.

Sharan, I said that. Yes, you need to keep it in limits. Its just a temporary thing to entertain yourself.

Drinks are to be respected, and not taken in large quantities. As its said "Respect wines, and they will respect you".

August 18, 2006 3:02 AM  
Blogger In The Shadows said...

Sharan, yeah, I am bored. Bored not because I have nothing to do but bored of the same old things, same old work. Nothing to excite you, nothing to push your mind.

August 18, 2006 3:05 AM  
Blogger leo girl said...

Thanks by dropping by my blog :)
That rock music thing was hilarous. U shld blog them soon

August 18, 2006 8:58 PM  
Blogger In The Shadows said...

yep, leogirl, will blog them sometime. later. after collecting some thoughts.

And yes, there is this gal who hates rock (has that set image in her mind about them it seems) but is interested, and on another side, the sound of electric guitars, and CDs all over the place. Gal,, naaahhh .. Rock, yes anytime man.

August 19, 2006 2:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1.well, I feel the same, to some extent. Work,drive back home,work,wake up n smile to a fresh day, work, strategy communication syllables,drive back home....virtual world!
N had this fear nagging me somehow, I may collapse, if I go to a pub and the first ever man* that evening, approaches me. I tested this hypothesis,surprisingly,I emerged more intelligent than the man.decided to stay out of social life.
2.haha,stab people??? I thought I rip them apart with a glare
3.Friends and a love life certainly keep your life n heart busy. But life cant be expected to be a bed of roses,It has its own highs n lows.somEtimes,I feel,being in a relationship is a such a huge investment of emotional drains off one his/her energy
No need to be a loner, but I suggest not to be too dependent on anyone get the best comfort with self, unparalleled attention.
4.Nope, i certainly keep self away from those alcholic beverages. those are again one more set of emotional traps.
5.learn new languages, use your body well*dance whether or not you are perfect. learn dance and enjoy your body moves
6.Who watches those predictable n sloppy n soppy Bollywood movies.they dnot feature in my radar
7.Ideas: why donot you consider Social work. It's so therapeutic by tendency n fulfilling.Further courses in some discipline you are so passionate about, say, Creative writing, Poetry, ...or learn some skills,like Pottery,Carpentry etc.

September 14, 2006 7:31 AM  

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